Made with love to the Harry Potter fan...

It was the best of films, and the worst of people.
Door opens to reveal a sad soul widdling a wand in a dark corner…

The Harry Potter movies bring out the best in the imagination, and the worst in the petty department. With the recent rise in ‘promises to see the movie together’, the rate of passive aggressive ‘hater’ behaviors is on a climactic incline.

Recently two fans sought out to see the movie together.
“The actual seeing of the movie promise takes about two weeks,” say local Minneapolis Harry Potter fans. “You have to first swear each other in with a promise ceremony.” Usually consisting of a half hour of badgering into the other that the absolutely WILL NOT see the movie for the first time without the 'promisee'.

The friend pair in question not only consummated the initial promise with a verbal ceremony, but solidified the deal with a blood oath, so as to seal the deal. This is customary in the mid-western groups, social circles, and tribes of the Illinoise, Iowa, and Minnesota area. The idea is to be ‘nice’ at all times no matter what has happened. Someone cracks you in the back of the head with a baseball bat, you answer back with a, “my that was a good swing, etc.” The same applies to someone attempting to crack open your heart by seeing the Harry Potter movie with another for the first time.

“Like virginity. You intend it to be with that special someone you’ve been in a relationship with, but more likely than not, you’ll ho yourself out to the first willing and able party if you’re horny enough for the event to be.”

Needless to say, one of the pair sought out to see the film on the first night of it’s opening, with or without the other. The biggest enemy to people keeping secrets is posting every thought bubble about the potential betrayal on popular social pages like facebook, twitter, etc. 

"It's too damn addictive, and deadly to the secret keeper.  It's our generational let-down for scandal get-aways." The other party is bound to find out.  This of course leads to an over-indulgence of the MOST passive-aggressive behaviors such as: wand-widdling, Harry Potter-mix-tape-car-listening, and finally the wand gifting while whispering,.. “I know what you did!” The ultimate point of the situation is the forgiveness stage, in order to forget and repeat the process at a future date.

Onlookers have this to say about the mid-western style handling of the Harry Potter incident; “I’m thinking about moving.” More to come,…