HEALTH ADVISORY | Minneapolis Key Lime Pie Enthusiasts

Bakers, eaters, and dessert enjoyers alike have received official warning from the department of restaurant health advisory.

A 27-year-old woman was reported eating the ‘perfect piece’ of key lime pie last Tuesday at 10PM while receiving word of an ex-relationship’s life status. Apparently the young woman was described as ‘choking on the joys of Karma’ while her dining partner described the severity of the characteristics of a particular transmitted disease. The alleged discussion was said to be a mirrored description of the questionable dessert being consumed.

“After the pungent, yellow goo consumes the majority of the experience, the true irony comes from the sweet pleasure of the existence and exterior-crumbling end result.”

Local clinic authorities have little to say about the woman's condition, but the to-remain-anonymous-male patient in the neighboring stay-room was withheld from the cafeteria serving schedule on the day devoted to all desserts resembling discharge.